Life is filled with ups and downs - when things seem to be really bad, remember that it will eventually get better.
Fairy tales and many fiction books always end with “happily ever after”. Unfortunately this is not true in real life. Life is in fact full of both good and bad times and you can only hope that you have more good than bad.
We are living during historically, unprecedented times. For many people, they are finding that life is highly stressful. As bad as it may seem, try to remember that it will get better. All the lock down restrictions will eventually be lifted and life can hopefully return to a new kind of normal.
Life in general can bring you in contact with people being both nice and not so nice to you. During periods of great stress, such as the lock downs, people’s attitudes and behaviours appear to be amplified. I have seen strangers help one another and on the flip side people being rude and aggressive.
I was talking to a friend recently and she was complaining about how people were behaving in the supermarket. As we talked, we came to the conclusion that while there were some rude people, the majority of people seemed to be fine. In life whether, it is at work, in your extended family or even amongst your circle of friends, you will see a balance of good and bad behaviours. You will never be surrounded by totally kind and considerate people, nor will you be surrounded by totally nasty and rude individuals. In life there is always a balance of good and bad.
The next time you are in the supermarket and that person pushes in front of you or that customer is rude to you at work, just shrug it off and try not to let it bother you too much. They are nothing compared to all the good and kind people out there.
Step 6 - Affirmations
Affirmations or mantras are phrases that when said repeatedly will help change the way you think. As you go through your day, listen to what your thoughts say about money. If you are having money problems then chances are that your thoughts are full of negative comments about not having enough of it.
Affirmations will help you change your thoughts so that they are more positive.
Examples of affirmations are:
I am good at managing money.
I am open to receiving money from all sources.
I have plenty of money.
I deserve to have money in my life.
Another helpful way to help change your attitude towards money is to have affirmations written on pieces of paper and posted around your house. So that whenever you look at the pieces of paper you have positive words to say.
At the end of the day, the affirmation has to be believable for you!!
Step 7 – Be inspired and motivated by the success of others
What are your thoughts when you hear that someone is successful and is wealthy? Do you get jealous? When you get jealous, you are blocking any money from coming to you, as you think that the other person has money, so there is not enough money for you. The reality is that there is enough money for everyone, including you. So the next time you hear that someone is wealthy, use it as inspiration for yourself.
We are all able to have plenty of money in our lives and we should use successful people as inspirations for ourselves to succeed. So next time you hear how Olivia Johnson bought a house . . . think . . . If she can do it then I can too!
Step 7 – Everyone can be smart with money
My grandmother told my mum, who told me, that a woman should always be financially independent. She should have her own job so that she can be independent and earn her own income. My grandmother was born before World War 2, but she had the foresight even then to realise the importance of financial independence. My mother passed on this advice to me and my sisters.
I studied accounting at university; however those studies did not provide me with skills to manage my own money. I know accountants who live in debt because they are unable to manage their personal finances.
My financial ability was gained through reading lots of books and asking lots of questions. You never stop learning and I continue to read and learn every day.
We are not all born with an instant financial ability. Men do not know more than women, or vice versa.
We are all equal when it comes to the ability of being financially savvy. The key is to believe that you can understand money.
My next blog will give you some suggestions on how to educate yourself about money.
Until next time, have a great week and believe in yourself.
The first 5 steps towards having a better understanding of money are as follows:
Step 1 – Finding your motivation
My reason for being financially independent is so that I can make the decisions in my life and look after my children. Everyone is very different and you need to find your own reason for wanting to understand money.
Step 2 – Finding the time
When you find your own reason about why you want to be financially independent, then that reason will motivate you to find the time to keep learning about money and not give up.
Step 3 - Setting Goals
Make the goals specific and give them a deadline that is relevant to you. Think about what you want or where you want to be in the future. The goal has to make you feel good when you achieve it.
Step 4—Love what you do
In order for you to earn money you need to love what you do. This may be a job or your own business. You have to find what is right for you.
Step 5—Mind set
This might sound strange but changing your mind set is an essential part of your financial education. You need to change the way you think about money. If you do not have the right mind set, you will not be able to learn about finances and have money in your life. One of the reasons that many people who win lottery lose all their money within a few years is because they do not have the right financial mind set.
You have to believe that you deserve to be financially independent and that you deserve to have money in your lifestyle.
Next week I will continue with the discussion on money.
Have a great day and remember to always believe in yourself.
Your financial ability has to be developed similarly to how a baby starts to walk. You all first started by crawling, you then carefully took your first steps, walked around, and then once you were comfortable with walking, you started to run. Developing your financial ability is just the same. You need to crawl first before you can walk and then run. The important thing is to make sure that even when you stumble over, you still get up and keep trying again. So never give up trying to understand money. You have the ability to understand finances and eventually take control of your life.
Our understanding of money is important to all of us because it gives us control of our own lives. You cannot rely on others to look after you financially. In my life, I have met both men and women in unhappy situations because they thought that money was too difficult to understand. All these people were worried about money and felt trapped in their situations. The reality is that they have the power to make changes so that they can be happier. They just need to gain confidence in relation to managing money so that they can take control of their money and their lives.
Never give up trying to understand money as it is the only way you can maintain your freedom of life choices.
Welcome to 2019. A new year brings so many new resolutions, whether it is wanting to lose weight, be healthier or even living a more fulfilling life. My birthday is also at the beginning of the year, so I find that it is a time where I really assess my life. This year was also a change in decade so it really made me question how I wanted to live my life from now on. It is a question that I can now answer freely. Life was not always so straight forward. For many years my life was influenced by my husband and children. However now that I am divorced and the children are older, I find that I am blessed with the space to rediscover what I like.
I thought I would start the year with blogs relating to being financially independent. Why? Because once you have control of your own money, you have greater control of your life. When you have to rely on other people to hand you cash, whether it is the government or your partner, you find that these other parties can control your life.
Each day gives everyone the opportunity to learn something new. Learning about how to better manage your finances is something that can continue your whole life. Your current financial situation does not have to remain the same for the rest of your life.
One of the reasons that many women stay in relationships with domestic violence is due to money.
For instance, Serena had been in an abusive marriage for over ten years. She had two children and her husband would terrorise the whole family. Every waking moment was filled with fear and Serena felt as though she were in prison. One day Serena made the decision to leave her husband. Life was pretty difficult at the beginning. After a number of years, life started to get easier and Serena finally felt as though she was free. One of the reasons that Serena had the strength to rebuild her life was that she had the faith that she could look after herself financially. Serena worked and she had learnt to manage her money well.
Understanding money gives you more freedom in your life.
In the coming weeks I will show you some strategies on how you can have better control of money in your life.
Goodbye for now.
Life is full of experiences, some of which are good and some not so good. Everything that happens to us can make us a better person or it can make us bitter. It is entirely up to you as to which type of person you want to be. The only one affected at the end of the day is you.
The older you get, the more experiences you will have. I see some people collect each negative memory and carry it with them, until they get to an age where they are angry with life and what it has done to them. They are left suffering in the world they have created in their minds.
Letting go of awful experiences is not easy. It takes a lot of work and dedication to forgive and move on.
When someone has mistreated you, you have the choice of learning from the experience and moving on. Chances are that the person who hurt you may never say sorry. You have to find a way to let go of the anger. This may mean seeing a counsellor or even talking to a friend. A friend named Lisa told me how she went to the beach and visually dumped her issues in the water. Lisa was able to release the negative experience and more importantly let go of the anger that had consumed her.
Bottom line is that you have to find your way to let go, so that you can find inner peace.
Have a great day and hope you find peace in all areas of your life.
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When you are a child your parents make decisions for you. However, once you are an adult, you are responsible for your life. You cannot blame your parents, your ex-partners, your job, or your age. Learn from the experience and move on. Build a better life now that you know better. Do not let your past, ruin your future.
Realise that you have the power to make positive changes in your life.
Have a great day and remember to keep smiling. You can like my Facebook page to get more up to date posts. Blessings.
Happy New Year everyone.
My birthday is close to the New Year so soon after I think about my New Year’s resolutions, I think about getting older.
This year however I came across a story on social media about a young woman named Holly Butcher who passed away a few days after the New Year. She was only 26 and she had written a very powerful Facebook post about appreciating life. I have shared her words below and hope you find it as thought provoking as I did, as you start your new year.
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“A bit of life advice from Hol:
It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.
That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.
I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.
I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.
I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!
Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.
Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe.
You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.
Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.
I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.
I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.
Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.
Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.
Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.
It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.
Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.
Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.
This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.
Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.
Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.
Get amongst nature.
Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.
Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.
Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.
Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.
Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.
Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?
Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.
Work to live, don’t live to work.
Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.
Eat the cake. Zero guilt.
Say no to things you really don’t want to do.
Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.
Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.
Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.
Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!
Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.
Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.
..’Til we meet again.
Life is full of ups and downs. Just when you think that you can relax, something unexpected can pop up. It can make you sad or angry at the time. However, try not to let it change you into an unhappy or bitter person. Go through the experience but try and see what you can learn from it. Walk away with lessons rather than dwelling on the pain.
I recently experienced a rather sad event and at the time I was immersed in my own pain. As the days passed by I suddenly realized that this event had blurred all my other “problems”. I had spent too much energy worrying about issues that did not really matter. In fact the event made me realise what was really important in my life. It gave me a new perspective and all the other issues suddenly did not seem so important.
When you let go of the little things, you will feel as though a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
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Karen Fernandez is a mother, accountant, property investor and writer who likes to motivate others to find happiness by reaching their full potential.